Sex between men is a beautiful, passionate, awesome thing. Do you want to try anal sex? Do you want to kiss, suck, rub, or touch? What do you try first? Where do you begin? How do you keep yourself safe from sexually transmitted infections?

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Science is currently trying to figure out why so-called prostate orgasms feel so intense—but, frankly, the why is unimportant. So, I talked with Sex and Relationships coach Dr. Charlie Glickman, PhD, who literally wrote the book on prostate pleasure to explain just how to enjoy this under-appreciated erogenous zone. Glickman's first point? Plus, porn stars are people who are likely having anal sex multiple times a week. For the best chance at a life-changing, earth-quaking orgasm, he also recommends—seriously, listen to this—experimenting with butt play solo at first. The second is that you can stop immediately once something becomes painful or uncomfortable. You don't have to worry about finding the right words to avoid killing the mood or discouraging your partner from ever trying this again. Additionally, don't try to go from 0 to 60 in the beginning.
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